My Lord Jesus Christ Betray me!

yes, one day i believe this happen to me..

disappointed to Him, one pray that always ask to Him,
but nothing happen, believe what bible say, being a good kid
be a good person in this live.. share what i can share to people around me
but then ...I never got what I want, i said To Him, this is what I got ? from doing anything that you want ? its this what i get ? from what suffering and ... how i should loosing my self just because I give the best that i can give to people ?

Its this my faith? its this the price that you give to me ? its this what i should GET ? do You ever listen to me ?
I have nothing!! i loose everything! just because I BELIEVE IN YOU JESUS!!

THIS IS WHAT I GOT ? this is what you said to all your follower? A LOVE SWEET AND TENDERNESS LOVE?? ... its just a bunch a bullshit, You even cant give me ONE AND THE ONLY WANT MY HOPE!!

DID YOU KNOW THIS WORLD FULL OF HATES? DID YOU KNOW THAT ITS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE WANT ? DID YOU KNOWWW THAT ITS A FUCKING UNNECESSARY TO BE KIND TO PEOPLE WHO REALLY HATES YOU AND YOU HATE MOST!! SO WHAT THE FUCK WE DOIN WITH THAT KIND OF LOVE ???!!

.....

thats the old statement from me, yes.. i know.. its too.. .. ermm.. you know .. full of hate.. but i remember that i made a mistakes there..

1. Im not that nice :D remember Jesus doesnt want you to be kind because of something that will returned to you, why ? we giving a fake love to people, its not about bargaining with Him, well more adequate if i says that we should respecting the meaning of love, it cames to you as reflection that you got Him and fully understand that you respecting things that He gave to us and spread it to other.
2. A pray its not something that you always got :) and its not a substitute from you being nice in this world. A wish / Pray its something that came from your heart and you really want that happen, but things its not always came.. He KNOWS what the best things in your life. You can gave your pray to Him. Something that i remember every time i ask something to my Lord, i feel thats the meaning of my life, HOPING something that we really want, its just like a gifts, and have faith that my Lord Jesus will gave the Best thing. PS: Acctually when i got what i want from my pray .. it become a bonus
3. serving people will never that easy and if you happy to serving people so do it, if you feel that you cant do that, so let it be.. Our LORD never wanting you to become a phoney person, let you be you.. and ask LORD to giving you guidelines for what you have done
4. the last paragraph .. that i wrote, well.. i believe lot of people doing the same things, well how GOD can handle those people ? world that full of hates, not trusting Him. only be good when human have a wish ?so many things that He give to us.. and we not realize it, just because WE THINK that what He gave to us its not something that we needed. heheheh.. well.. i learn something ..

and i do hope you got your own... :)